When we’re young and if we’re lucky, an adult may come into our lives who changes the trajectory of our path for the better. One of these people for me and my highschool friends was a man called Peter Young. We met him because a group of us were not doing well in Accounting. The teacher didn’t seem to be able to impart her knowledge to
us and she was often absent. My father said he knew a smart man and he’d ask him to tutor us. Back then, we were preparing for what is known as the CXC exam, formerly known as O’ levels.
We knew at once that Mr. Young was different. For one, he treated us like we were actual people (meaning he didn’t judge, discipline, reprimand, scold, berate, warn or make us feel inadequate for not knowing the material). His words emboldened us rather than frightened or restricted us. This was so long ago that I can’t remember what we actually talked about except that when we left his place, we were light-hearted and ready to take on not only Accounting, but the world. We believed we would pass Accounting and we believed we handle this confusing thing called life. We offered up our teenage problems and he guided us. He shared his life stories and we, enraptured, listened intently. He offered us a small glass of red wine each and told us that we could master anything we put our minds to. My friend Jo told me that Mr. Young was the only person in her life that made her feel worthy and capable. He was the only person who made her feel smart and good enough. For me, he made me feel that I didn’t have to be afraid of the numbers that swam before my eyes. All we had to do, he said, was, “RTFQ!” If we did this, we could solve anything. To this day, I remember RTFQ. READ THE F…. QUESTION. Read the full/f…king question! We laughed gleefully, but he was serious. If you don’t focus on the full question, you’ll miss important details. Take your time, don’t rush it, read it in full, answer thoughtfully. And when our minds jumped from conversation to conversation, from the lesson we were supposed to be learning to the social, he’d gently pull us back to the task at hand.
We never wanted to miss these tutoring sessions, what we call in Jamaica extra lessons. Our time with Mr. Young was too precious and valuable. When we took our CXC Accounting exams, we passed with flying colors. It was at 16 that the thought came into my head: “What if I’m not really dumb at math and numbers? What if everyone just needs the right teacher?” I’ve held on to this belief in my adult life as a parent and a former English as a Second Language teacher, setting the stage for learning, by instilling the mantra: you can do it. Of course you can. If one way isn’t working, try another way, another method, another teacher. And as always, remember RTFQ!
Mr. Young is at the forefront of my mind right now. My Aunt D told me Mr. Young wasn’t doing so well. He was in hospital in Jamaica. I was visiting Jamaica and wanted to see him, even if he wasn’t responsive. I had to wait though, as I had caught Covid and was waiting for a negative test. Unfortunately, it was too late. Mr. Young died on Monday morning, July 15, 2024. My aunt called to tell me. I immediately called Jo. Since I’d left Jamaica over 20 years ago and hadn’t seen Mr. Young in a long time, I remember him as young, vibrant, with that welcoming smile that put you at ease. I was 16 again in his house, laughing and learning while his five-year-old son watched from the hallway. As I sobbed into the phone, Jo reminded me that Mr. Young lived a good long life. She had kept in touch with him all these years. He always sent bananas for her, especially when she was sick. I felt sad that immigration takes one away from all that is familiar and comforting, takes us away from the people who we love the most and the landscape that’s most familiar. I cried for roads not taken, yet felt solace that I had Jo with me to reminisce, to fill in the gaps, and to reflect and ultimately recover. The lessons Mr. Young imparted would remain a part of us, shaping us into the adults and mothers we are today: resilient in the face of life’s challenges.
In this fast paced life, RTFQ applies even when the situation is not a question. I was in Jamaica, sunburnt like never before. My skin was cracked and crinkled like an alligator. I sent my daughter to the pharmacy to buy a good moisturizing lotion. She came back with a bottle and for days we rubbed it into our skin wondering why it was so thick and pasty and hard to apply. As my skin got dryer and dryer, I decided to take a good look at the bottle. Turns out all this time, we’d been rubbing body wash into our already dry and damaged skin.
“But the woman in the pharmacy said everything on this shelf is lotion and Auntie examined it too,” said my daughter in surprise. “I guess I should have looked at it more closely to make sure.”
“Yes, we all should have, I said looking at my damaged skin. “In this case, nobody paid attention to the details. No one applied RTFQ!!”
Peta-Gaye Nash
